#16

New Laundry Method and Spicy Willy Wonka - Can You Imagine

I’ve slowed down quite a lot this week, but I did manage to get out and give the crystals a bath, in the full moon. And that’s not the only thing that’s had a bath, sort of. I’ve created a new laundry method! If you’d like to give it a go, this is how you do it:

You wash the clothes on a super slow wash (so you don’t have to deal with them so quickly), and then you leave them in the machine. When you’re ready to, you take them out of the machine and hang them out to dry, outside! It then rains on them, so you leave them outside, overnight. Now this might be the crucial element - the clothes freeze! The next day, they thaw, as a result of it raining again. You leave them outside, to dry, of course, not because you hate doing laundry. That evening you bring them inside and attempt to tumble dry them. The tumble dryer (drier?) begins flashing all of its lights, after about 20 minutes, because it is technically broken but it’s unclear what the issue is. The clothes are mostly dry, so you leave them in the machine for another day and a half. Then your partner reminds you that the clothes are in the machine, with a silent emphasis on the unsaid “still”, so you put the clothes out to dry, inside this time. The clothes are so soft and slightly damp still, but they don’t smell at all. It defies all expectation; they should by right have “that smell”. At this point you have a whole new pile of clothes to do it all over again with. You are so so grateful. It’s what you were put on God’s green Earth to do, afterall.

I’ve only had one big thought worth sharing this week and that’s– Spicy Willy Wonka.

Spicy Willy Wonka popped into my head while walking my dog, one evening. Earlier that day I’d been watching the Chicken Shop Date/Hot Ones crossover event, while making a cover for my sewing machine (Yes, since I’ve stopped drinking, I’ve become insufferable.) The Hot Ones episode felt particularly poignant because the idea of extremely hot hot-sauce has been lurking in my thoughts, after discovering a particularly spicy hot-sauce an old flatmate had gifted me, in the back of a cupboard. I thought about how awful it would be if my dog accidentally ate a spicy chicken wing covered in that hot sauce! — *Gollum voice* A nasty little intrusive though — At this point my brain gained access to a sort of deep space blackhole mode, where I tesseracted (see below*) through thoughts rapidly. I thought about the Miracle Berry, Synsepalum dulcificum, that turns sour things sweet!  Like some mad scientist-chef I began to wonder if somewhere out there, there might a berry that can turn spicy things normal, or perhaps reveal some complex and delicious flavour hidden by the fiery Balrog guardian of the chilli. Or a pill you take to stop the spice! I’d be so rich! I’d be the Spicy Willy Wonka. Chilli Wonka, if you will. 🌶️

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With ideas like these, I don’t know why you wouldn’t want to