#24
Can it!, Allotment Engineering: and Star Trek - The Next Generation.
This draft has been sat in my “currently working on” folder for 4 months, like a monument of mockery. I’m not currently working on anything! Well, except a sparkling personality and an ass that won’t quit.
CAN IT! - I wish they could make the sound of opening a can different. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate the beautifully simple and effective design, my problem is simply auditory. When I hear what I now know to be called the “stay-on-tab” press down on the metal, I immediately become tense. First there is a buckling sound, as the tab is leveraged. Through brute force, the tab is pull up creating a popping sound as the can bursts open, forcing the metal to ping down. After this, the carbonation pressure is released in a quick hiss. Of course, this all happens in the space of about two seconds. But time is relative, I am led to believe; inferring from various forms of media (fictional films) and no real research of my own. I wince. Almost always what follows this atrocious combination of sounds is a slurp. This blinds me with a white rage which passes once the sound is gone. Tensions still linger though as, soon after, often a burp, followed by more slurps. There is quite simply nothing in the hearing space that is good about a can being opened, and then drank.
ALLOTMENT engineering: We have an allotment, for growing vegetables, or, as it turns out, allowing weeds to do whatever the hell they want! This year we have constructed a rather medieval looking squash frame. I follow an Instagram account called pawpawridge. I love him, especially when he says, “Hey, PawPaw Ridge!”– It’s confusing because when he says it, it’s like he’s calling me PawPaw Ridge. In some ways, perhaps we, who come to find him, are all PawPaw Ridge. He grows a cultivar of squash called rampicante, also known as a trumpet gourd. I immediately bought seeds. We sowed the seeds and planted them in aformentioned squash frame and I can’t wait until they climb up the frame and those hilarious squashes hang down. Or perhaps they will bring down the frame! Either way, it’s going to be exciting.
STAR Trek – The Next Generation, is the show that I watch at the moment. What I’ve also found is that it’s really sparked a joy of drawing again. While I watch I like to draw the characters, especially Worf!!!!!!!!! I’ll draw him in a skimpy little outfit, for sure. Most recently I dressed him up as Beyonce, from the Single Ladies music video, holding his phaser. I’m trying to draw one thing a day. I will scrapbook style upload them in future newsletters, most likely, in a pivot to doing some different formats!
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