#20
A thousand kisses a day, American affogato, and Loose Change Hidden Fortune!
I’m starting a new segment, at the end of this week’s newsletter, to document the owl imagery that’s forcibly presenting itself to me. It’s terrifying, but before that - A thousand kisses a day, American affogato, and Loose Change Hidden Fortune!
A thousand kisses a day is the amount of kisses your pet needs on any given day. I give my dog lots of kisses in a row, like an Italian nonna kissing her grandchildren, loud and smacking, and then I say, “She needs A thousand kisses a day”, and then I kiss her some more. And then I say, “It’s not enough kisses, she needs a thousand more kisses.” If I stop giving her kisses on her head, she throws her head back and looks at me, like she’s the queen and I am but a peasant not doing my duty. She can never have enough kisses.
ROOT beer float, ice-cream float or, as I like to call it, American affogato, is a fantastic little treat to have this spring! I am 4 and a bit months sober (for Mental Health™) and have been getting excited about all kinds of beverages. I think one of the things you realise when stopping drinking is how much sugar you’ve been having, inadvertently. I find now that I’m craving desserts, where I once would say to myself (quite smugly) “I’m more of a savoury person, actually”. The other day I was in our local corner shop, getting some Picky Bits, and saw a can of Dr Pepper Cream Soda. I knew there was ice cream in the freezer so decided that dessert would also be my fun beverage, and boy was it fun! I’m gonna go ahead and be having American affogato at least two more times this spring. HELL! Maybe even three.
THE urge to hoover seldom rises in me, but I did it this past week. I saw a coin on the floor (which did NOT hoover up, despite my best efforts) and I thought, “There must be so much money just lost in the world right now.” If it was all added up, I bet there’s at least £1 million down the side of people’s sofas. During austerity/recession years A.K.A all of the time these days, there should be a gameshow. I guess the premise would be you have to rummage through all your clothes, and under furniture etc. and pick up all the loose change you find. Then whoever finds the most wins it all! It’s not my best idea, but it’s certainly an idea. It would be called, “Loose Change Hidden Fortune!”
And now, this week’s owls!
I’ve included alt text for those unable to see the owls. You too can experience my torment in rich descriptive text.
If you think someone would enjoy this little slice of life, send it on! I have left Twitter so here is the only place my unbridaled thoughts leak into the internet. If you wish to stop my thoughts from causing more harm, feel free to do nothing.
With that being said, I don’t know why you wouldn’t…
Congrats on the sobriety. Keep it up Reuben! <3
I feel like mocktails should really rebrand. I'm sick of sparkling water.